A shaggy tooth story

Having had toothache along with his usual aches and pains, Dave took himself off to the dentist this morning to try and determine what the problem was. He's got so little of his own teeth remaining now, what with bridges and crowns (and gaps!) that it was hard to see what could be causing the pain. His usual dentist was on holiday, so he went to see a new guy who had opened up a few doors down.

Dave found himself in a modern, squeaky clean surgery along with a dentist who looked to be about 14 years old (however, the dental nurse was a few years older, so he was reassured to some degree). With Dave's limited Spanish and the dentists limited English it took a series of mimes and some sketches on a piece of paper to explain what the problem was. 'Ah, hot and cold. No problem' said the dentist, and soon located the offending molar by using something hot and something cold (works every time!). When Dave had climbed down from the top of the equipment rack, the dentist settled him back in the chair and began examining the tooth.

Obviously recently trained in all of the latest techniques, the young man donned a pair of safety goggles, a mask, two pairs of rubber gloves and what appeared to be one of those head set devices worn on television by doctors who examine pregnant women. Having noticed a sign on the surgery wall that advised patients to tell the dentist if they were pregnant, Dave didn't like the direction his mind was going! He felt decidedly relieved when the dentist suddenly removed the head set and put it back into its drawer, evidentially deciding that it wouldn't be needed.

'Mmmmm' (prod, poke, prod) ' Molesta?' asks the dentist. 'Mmmmumble' responds Dave, and they both stop and look at each other. 'This hurt?' explains the dentist. 'Ah si' responds Dave in his unique Japanese Spanish. This continued with the dentist tapping his way around all of the teeth inside of Dave's mouth, rather like the wheel tappers used to do on the railways looking for loose wheels, thought Dave as his mind began to drift again. Having established that just one tooth was the cause of the pain, our young dentist settles down to work in earnest, being handed what felt like to Dave about twenty different pieces of equipment by his nurse, and placing them into his mouth.

After much scraping and prodding, and much grunting and clenching of buttocks by Dave as the dentist cleaned up the area around the source of the trouble, it was decided that an X-ray would throw a bit more light on the situation. This was quickly done with some very futuristic looking equipment and within minutes they were both looking at a picture of a tooth that had a very visible fracture across the top of the roots. Source of problem; source of pain. Best course of action was to remove the tooth as it was beyond repair. 'No problem' says our young professional, rubbing his gloved hands together.

Anorak alert - The dentist went on to explain to Dave (using some very ably drawn sketches of teeth and gums) that the reason the tooth had fractured was because it hadn't had another tooth to press up against. Because Dave had a gap where the opposing tooth was meant to be, the damaged tooth had gradually travelled outward, until it had exposed the weaker root area. Normal usage had then placed too much pressure on the vulnerable tooth and it had fractured.

Having sat down in the dentists chair at 10.30am, the time now being 12.00pm, Dave anticipated another half-hour at the most and settled down for the extraction. Whilst not exactly looking forward to it, at least it would mean the end of the pain. Jeni arrives at this time and the dentist goes through everything with her just in case Dave hasn't understood. Time now 12.30pm and two hours of treatment having elapsed.

So, first set of injections ... 'Feeling numb?' 'Er, no.' Second set of injections ... Feeling numb?' 'Er, a little.' 'OK, we go for it.' 'Aaaaargh!'. 'Mmmmm, very strange, you shouldn't be feeling anything.' (this translated by Jeni). The tooth now going throb, throb ... 'Maybe a bit more anesthetic?' This continues for the next hour and a half, with increasing amounts of the anesthetic having no effect on the tooth at all! The whole area around the tooth; the whole of the right hand side of Dave's face; his tongue and the sides of his nose are completely dead, whereas the tooth is still happily throbbing away. Jeni points out that Dave usually has to have double doses of any medication due to his body mass, so in with the needle again. Partial success and the dentist quickly gets to work loosening the tooth before the anesthetic wears off!

1pm comes and goes, 1.30pm, 2pm, and the anesthetic has completely worn off and the tooth hasn't budged. The dentist decides that he's going to hit Dave with the extra strong anesthetic but needs him to have some blood sugar in his system before he does. Jeni volunteers to pop up to the bar on the next corner and returns with bottles of peach juice which Dave is encouraged to drink. The tooth is very angry at this stage and the cold drink doesn't help the situation at all (remember the 'hot/cold' symptoms?!). Dave's now been in the chair for three and a half hours and no real progress has been made. The dentist decides that after administering the extra strong anesthetic he's going to cut the tooth into sections and try and remove it bit by bit.

Jeni later admits that, as well as feeling anxious for her marido carido (dear husband) she's also having a vegetable anxiety at this stage, due to the fact that she's still not done her weekly shopping! But duty over-rides and she sticks by Dave and pushes the thoughts of carrots and runner beans to the back of her mind (not an easy thing for Jeni as those who know her will appreciate!).

So, anesthetic working and Dave gripping the arms of the chair, the dentist starts to dissect the tooth (sorry about the imagery here for those of you with a sensitive disposition). It takes him another hour to do this, along with another injection and the comment - 'I've never had to give this much to anyone else before!' Four and a half hours comes and goes; five hours, and the dentist is still heaving away on the tooth. A final injection (with the dentist muttering under his breath about the doses being big enough for a horse!) and after five and a half hours the last piece of root is dropped into the tray. There is suddenly a festive feeling in the room and the nurse, the dentist and Jeni are all beaming at each other and examining the bits of tooth. Dave slowly sinks deeper into the chair with a groan, thankful that it's all over.